帮忙修改一下这篇英语作文 要求 修改语病 尽量把一些简单句改成高级句型 字数在110字左右 Michael Jackson,born in Gary,Indiana,USA,is a well-known pop star.He was handome and thin.He sang songs,danced and acted.One of

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帮忙修改一下这篇英语作文 要求 修改语病 尽量把一些简单句改成高级句型 字数在110字左右
Michael Jackson,born in Gary,Indiana,USA,is a well-known pop star.He was handome and thin.He sang songs,danced and acted.One of his famous song is Billie Jean.
When he was 8,he has shown his gift for singing and dancing.His fans are all over the world.They were moved by his perfect performances.
He is the pride of the black people.He tried his best to fight for the rights of black people and he donated a lot of money to the poor and children who were in bad health.He sat a good example to us.
Michael Jackson is regarded as the king of pop.His death made me VERY sad.But he is still the perfect image of the modern pop star in America and indeed the world.

Michael Jackson,born in Gary,Indiana,USA,was one of the best well-known pop stars in the world.He was handome and lean.He sang many famous songs such as 'Heal the World' and 'We are the world',also he is a great dancer and good at making action moves on the stage.
When he was 8,he has shown his gift on singing and dancing.His fans are all over the world and they were touched by his perfect performances.
Even now,he is the pride of the American-Africans.He tried his best to fight for the equal rights for black people and he donated huge amount of money to the poor and children who were in bad health condition.He set a good example to the world.
Michael Jackson is called as the king of pop by his fans.His death made me very sad.But he is still the perfect image of the modern pop star in America and indeed the world.
不要追求华丽的句型,老师在判分的时候是不会考虑这个的,相对的应该注意如何减少低级错误.
另外,在作文中不要使用全大写字母,一个是没有必要,另外在外国人来看除非有特殊意义不然也是不礼貌的,请注意

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