英语短文改错 Dear Sir or Madam,I'm Lihua.When I am reading the advertisement,I was grea...英语短文改错 Dear Sir or Madam,I'm Lihua.When I am reading the advertisement,I was great impressed by the job.I want to do something for the old.The

英语短文改错 Dear Sir or Madam,I'm Lihua.When I am reading the advertisement,I was grea...
英语短文改错
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm Lihua.When I am reading the advertisement,I was great impressed by the job.I want to do something for the old.Therefore,I recommend me to you with hesitation.I am now in the summer holidays and have enough time to work for you.However,I have some caring experiences because I onced looked after my grandma.The most important thing is I am patient and the old in our neighborhood likes chatting with me.If I am admitted,I will devote myself to take care of them.I can read newspapers to let them to learn about some latest affairs.I can do some washing,too.
Looking forward to your early reply.

1.When I am reading -----【When I was reading】
2.was great impressed------【was greatly impressed】
3.I recommend me to you ----【I recommend myself to you 】
4.with hesitation----【without hesitation】
5.However---【Moreover】
6.is----【is that】
7.in our neighborhood----【in my neighborhood】
8.likes---【like】
9.take care of ---【taking care of】
10.let them to ----【let them】
个人意见,仅供参考.

以下，以句子为单位做出了一定的修改，主要是表达和用法上。供参考。
When I am (was)reading the advertisement(如果这是你的自荐信，此处要根据你的具体情况注明看到这则广告的具体来源), I was great（greatly） impressed by the job.
I want to do something for the old(eld...

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以下，以句子为单位做出了一定的修改，主要是表达和用法上。供参考。
When I am (was)reading the advertisement(如果这是你的自荐信，此处要根据你的具体情况注明看到这则广告的具体来源), I was great（greatly） impressed by the job.
I want to do something for the old(elderly).Therefore,I recommend me(myself) to you with（without） hesitation.(此处不宜用recomment这个词，可以换个表达)
改：I want to do something for the elderly. Therefore, I set my heart on this perfect opportunity.
I am now in the summer holidays and have enough(plenty/sufficient) time to work for you.
改：I am having a summer holiday, so that time is on my side.
However,I have some caring experiences because I onced looked after my grandma.
改：And since I have attended my grandmother, I have sufficient knowledge regarding what older people need as well as their concerns.
The most important thing is I am patient and the old in our neighborhood likes chatting with me.
改:Most importantly, I am patient and the elderly in my neighborhood enjoy my company tremendously.
If I am admitted,I will devote myself to take care of them. I can read newspapers to let them to learn about some latest affairs. I can do some washing,too.
改：I am looking forward to spending more time with the elderly, reading newspapers to them and doing the washing for them in order to provide them with as much domestic comfort and convinence as I possibily can.

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old--odd
with no hesitation
however--what‘s more

am reading 改成 read(read的过去式）
was great impressed by the job 里的 great impressed 换成 greatly attracted, 如果是不付薪水的工作用 work 或assignment 更好
I recommend me to you with hesitation不太对，你可以说 I volunteer ...

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am reading 改成 read(read的过去式）
was great impressed by the job 里的 great impressed 换成 greatly attracted, 如果是不付薪水的工作用 work 或assignment 更好
I recommend me to you with hesitation不太对，你可以说 I volunteer my services(毛遂自荐）to get/do the assignment/work.
work for you改成help the old (people)
however 改成 moreover/futhermore/what's more
onced looked 改成 have once looked
The most important thing is I am patient and the old in our neighborhood likes chatting with me 改成 Besides, the most important thing is that I am patient enough, and I always get along well with the old in our neighborhood, they all enjoy chatting with me.
If I am admitted中admit一般用于学校承认你入学，或者你自己承认了什么事情，或犯了错或罪，建议改成 If I can get the work
read newspapers to let them to learn about some latest affairs可改成read them newspaper(不可数名词）to help them know something about the latest events(affair不太恰当）
I can do some washing,too建议改成 I can also do the washing for them.
个人建议，仅供参考

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