麻烦各位帮忙检查一下这篇文章的语法错误,In conclusion,there is no doubt for me that students should study at traditional school rather than study at home,because they can both learn useful skills and focus on studies at school inste

麻烦各位帮忙检查一下这篇文章的语法错误,
In conclusion,there is no doubt for me that students should study at traditional school rather than study at home,because they can both learn useful skills and focus on studies at school instead of becoming an indoors man who stay at home all the time and cannot integrate into society.

In conclusion, there is no doubt for me that students should study at traditional school(S) rather than study at home, because they can both learn useful skills and focus on studies at school instead of becoming an indoor(s) man who stay(S) at home all the time and cannot integrate into society.