英语帝来帮帮忙看看这段文字有没有错误!Don't know whyMy heart is achingPerhapsMy mind is addictedMy happiness and sadnessHad already been related to youWhat can I doIs to fall in loveIs to be in loveJust belive in myselfJust believe t

英语帝来帮帮忙看看这段文字有没有错误!
Don't know why
My heart is aching
Perhaps
My mind is addicted
My happiness and sadness
Had already been related to you
What can I do
Is to fall in love
Is to be in love
Just belive in myself
Just believe this love
Let the soft breeze bring the doubts away
A piece of fallen leaves
Is whispering in my ears
Warm sunlight is kissing me on my cheek
I will like a sunflower
Toward to the bright sun
Yes
You are my sun
My sunshine
请帮忙看看有没有语法错误或者别的问题谢谢了
大家都很好，难以选择…现在要上学，星期天回来考虑考虑再决定

我只能确定不是很地道的英文...有很多句子我都读得不是很流畅.
在美国读了这么多年书,这点还是知道的.
有一些语序很不对
例如especially I notice there still are massive incessant debates
notice应该是noticed,这是基本语法问题
there still are 应该是 there are still...语序问题
还有he always believe and obey
很基本的第三人称单数,语法错误,以英文为母语的人是不会犯这种低级语法错误的
文章还是很通顺的,所以应该至少到了大学水平把
你的串号我已经记下,采纳后我会帮你制作

严格而言，语法错误是有的，但是在诗歌里面，我觉得是可以理解的。。。。。而且会比较有韵味。

没有

这是你自己写的，吗？挺优美的。但是有些地方不是特别和谐。
1.Don't know why-------你的整篇诗歌几乎都有主语，所以第一句最好也加上主语：I don't know why
2.Just belive in myself
Just believe this love
-------believe和believe in 是有细微的区别的：
Be...

全部展开

这是你自己写的，吗？挺优美的。但是有些地方不是特别和谐。
1.Don't know why-------你的整篇诗歌几乎都有主语，所以第一句最好也加上主语：I don't know why
2.Just belive in myself
Just believe this love
-------believe和believe in 是有细微的区别的：
Believe表示“相信”、“信以为真”（to accept as true）之意，它是及物动词，其后直接跟宾语。
Believe in则表示“信仰”、“信任”（to have faith in somebody or something）之意。
所以Just believe this love--------最好改为Just believe in this love
3.A piece of fallen leaves-------改为A piece of fallen leave
就这些了，你自己参考参考啦！

收起

1. What can I do
应该是what I can do
2. I will like a sunflower
will 后要加be
3.Toward to the bright sun
toward 或者to，两者取一即可
除此之外还有一些主语什么的错误，可能因为是诗歌所以故意省略了吧，俺就不纠结了。